…. Recently a client asked me why some people are able to heal from experiences of traumatic child abuse and why some people have more difficulty recovering. My answer, simply stated was: Those who are able to heal from deep abuse had someone in their lives who showed them unconditional, loving support. One still needs to confront their painful truths and make a commitment to healing. With the sense of being believed and understood, this process can be undertaken.
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” ~ David Richo
We have all experienced trauma in our lives. This could be from the death of a loved one, sudden loss of a job or home or the effects of bodily injury to the more severe incidents of emotional, physical and sexual abuse. The latter leaving deep wounds that take longer to repair. Healing trauma with Flower Essence Therapy is a wonderful way of healing through trauma. Star of Bethlehem is a key flower essence for those in great distress, or have been dealing with conditions of anxiety, unhappiness and trauma.
Swiss psychologist Alice Miller used the term “enlightened witness” to describe the role of a person who was present for the abuse victim. This person validated the suffering they experienced. In her article “The Essential Role of an Enlightened Witness in Society“, Miller states that if someone who has suffered abuse has had either an “enlightened helper” during childhood or an “enlightened witness” later in life, they were able to shift their abuse away from a place of detriment toward a place of healing.
“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.” ~ Meryl Streep
Her article examines why some abuse victims continue the cycles of abuse (causing harm to themselves and/or others) and some experience the pain as a catalyst for deeper self-awareness and growth. In her studies, Miller found that during childhood, those who had at least one person whom they felt a sense of love and care from were able to confront their issues later in life and grow into healthy adults. Through his or her presence, this person gave them a notion of trust, and of love. I call these persons helping witnesses.
Miller said, “If they did not experience this in childhood, but found someone later in life, healing was still possible. Many have also been lucky enough to find enlightened and courageous witnesses; people who helped them to recognize the injustices they suffered. This is what gives people the ability to vent their feelings of rage, pain and indignation at what happened to them.”
During early childhood I had the unconditional love of my grandmother. She imparted a sense of confidence and self-acceptance in me. Later in life when I was having difficulty managing the emotions surfacing around my abuse. I then sought out a therapist, who guided me in going deeper into my process.
The therapist was able to help me make sense of my experience. Having someone who clearly understood my wounding was a huge turning point in my healing process.
In my practice, I have many clients who have suffered child sexual abuse. My work of healing trauma with flower essence therapy focuses on guiding others toward deeper self-awareness. This leads them to a state of greater wholeness. Those who seek out my services are what I recognize as “survivors”. Survivors are those who have the ability to cope with their difficulties and have arrived at a place of inner strength.
“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind” ~ Caroline Myss
Once you feel a sense of balance and clarity in traveling along the healing path, you can follow some steps below to maintain your well-being.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Jalaluddin Rumi
If you are at the beginning stages of wanting to heal your self, seek out help. If you feel stuck or afraid to try any of these methods, have the courage to reach out to an experienced therapist. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Find out more on how healing trauma with flower essence therapy or other therapies can benefit you. This may feel vulnerable and scary, but taking the first step toward recovery is necessary. A caring therapist helps to shine a light in the darkness and witness your path to emotional health.
“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.” ~ Ellen Bass The Courage To Heal